Minneapolis With Open Arms

We made it home. It's now Saturday, and I feel like I can finally recount our final day without too much trauma. I can't sugar coat it, the travel home sucked monkey balls. It was a seemingly unending day, with us having been up a full 24 hours by the time we stepped beyond the condo's threshold. It was 24 hours of very weary, stinky, delayed everything. It was pouring when we had to leave the To Sostre, so though the bus was only a block away, we were drenched by the time we reached it. Our first flight left Bergen for Copenhagen, and after they served the drinks, the dude seated in front of John flopped into his seat, spilling John's coffee all over his legs. It was thankfully a short flight, but since we had only an hour layover, we had to haul serious ass through the Copenhagen airport to get to the proper gate. I had to choke down a peanut butter sandwich because my blood sugar was falling, but I have such problems eating too early that I was feeling too nauseous to enjoy it.

Flight to Copenhagen, choice spot on the plane!


Soon, we were boarding our flight to DC.
Flight? Did I say flight? Ha ha ha. It wasn't a 'flight' so much as a 'ride into the depths of hell'. It was a full house, it stunk like feet, B.O. and dirty diapers from what seemed like half of the passengers who were children under 6, most of whom were actually very well-behaved, and their parents seemed caring and knowledgeable about how to actually care for them. Unfortunately, the aisle next to us had parents that were not knowledgeable about such things, and had two children with them, one about 5/6 and one about 2/3. The smaller kid cried, screamed and shrieked for the entirety of the eight hour flight. THE ENTIRE FLIGHT. And the parents did nothing to alleviate this poor, bored and squirrely child. They had zero toys, zero books, zero electronic gizmos or tactile stimulation for either kid, they didn't even get up out of the seats to walk the kids around. They sat there, forcing the poor kids to sit there for eight solid, torturous, horrible, cruel hours. At one point, the little boy was entertaining himself by slapping the fold-down tray, and those blissfully quiet few minutes were cut short by the mother slamming the tray shut and locking it. Unbelievable. I was ready to fork over my house keys for the kid to play with. Despite the display of all the other parents walking their kids around the plane with stuffies and books in tow, and the happy smiles on their kids' faces, these two only got up once and that was when both children were screaming bloody murder so loudly that every other parent on the plane were shooting daggers out of their eyes at them. I felt so bad for those kids. Even with my earplugs in, headphones on with volume at full throttle, I could not get the screaming to silence.

Hell Flight


At least this flight had the personal entertainment system at each seat, so we watched Snow White and the Huntsman, Brave twice, and then I watched The Full Monty while John played Suduku. Amazingly, I was able to get a few Z's early in the flight, read some of my book and watched with amazement as we passed over the frozen, snow-covered Greenland. Finally, the flight came to an end, and I thought things could only get better. Oh, how mistaken! The security at Dulles Airport in Washington, DC is embarrassingly inefficient and full of cocky, power-hungry dickwads who take pleasure in condescending people. It was a three-tiered system, and took forever to get through. First, the ginormous line to get our passports checked (and some people were even getting fingerprinted! I was appalled at this colossal violation!). Second, the ginormous line to have our customs papers inspected which entailed a person looking at the piece of paper the first guy already looked at and stamped. Third, the ginormous and slow-as-molasses security screen. Finally, we were done with that and had to haul ass to our next plane, home to Minneapolis. Delayed. "No aircraft" the board said. Ugh....another stinky, hot, body odor-stankin', dirty waiting area to sit in. Thankfully, the wait wasn't too long, and though the flight was agonizing in its own right, it was only three hours, and we didn't have to wait for luggage, we could zip right over to the light rail, and walk home. We walked in the door about 9pm. We had originally thought we'd be home more like 6:30-ish, but whatever, we were home.

Greenland!!


Map


Last Flight! Onward to Minneapolis!


We snuggled our kitties, cracked open the two beers left in the fridge and sat out on the balcony before we finally had to just flop into bed. My awesome mother had left us a little care package, so we were able to make a nice breakfast the next morning of eggs, toast, raspberry lemonade and coffee with cream. Norway was unbelievably beautiful, and Balestrand is definitely on the short list of places we'll consider retiring, but there really is no place like home :)
Love, hugs, and thanks for reading everyone! Til next time!
R&J

PS: I inserted photos into each post, so be sure to check past posts to see some sights! We took over 1100 photos, so this is a very small snippet!

Leaving Bergen

Last day in Norway!
Our last full day in Norge! We slept in a bit, slowly waking to the sounds of a hard rain falling outside. A small breakfast of very scrumptious vanilla bean yogurt with some trail mix and tea was on order for the day. And guess what else? MORE IRONING!!! These clothes are still not completely dry after two days of hanging. Whatever. They are getting packed and tossed in the dryer at home within 24 hours. At least they are clean so we'll only have one load to wash when we return. And I'll tell you what, the first order of business is snuggling my kitties, and brewing a fresh batch of French pressed coffee, made Schmoopie-style!!! For dinner, I want me some Kindho and a big ole beer! Or maybe just head down to our favorite watering hole, Fulton Brewery, and grab some food-truck food. We are ready to come home.



The weather cleared up, for the most part, for a lovely last day. We wandered around looking fruitlessly for Dashiell Hammett novels translated into Norwegian again, perused the fish market that lies right along the pier and took photos of the smoked whale. Yes, they eat whale here, as well as horse, which seems odd to me as ecologically aware as Noway as a whole seems to be, apparently hunting endangered species doesn't niggle at their collective conscience? Speaking of niggling consciences, mine has been in overdrive since we first saw how many women are destitute on the streets here. As we passed one aged women, I finally resolved to give her all the change in my pocket, which was the very least I could do. As I dropped it in, our eyes and smiles met, and I felt pangs tugging at me. Pangs about what I believe in, and how to live up to those beliefs. I fear I fail at it. I know it wasn't much, and the problem is a complicated one that my spare change won't fix, but perhaps it bought her a meal tonight.









On a lighter note, there was a man feeding the birds, and as they flocked around him, we took photos of the gulls, wrens and a funny kind of bird that is everywhere here that John dubbed the "Crowgen", which literally looks and acts exactly like a crow crossed with a pigeon. They are quite interesting and funny to watch, I wish we had video snippets of them. There's another elusive bird here that is so cute, but they flit away the minute we get close enough to snap the shutter. They are tiny and have really long tails that twitch up and down every time they land. Cuteness!

We then hit the kino (cinema) to see Brave, the new Pixar movie. We LOVED it!!! It's awesome and touching and fun. It made me realize, once again, how important it is to make memories and love in life rather than money or status or stuff. That following your dreams isn't merely doing what you want to do or finding the right path, it's making every thing you do important, worthwhile, joyous, meaningful, loving, honorable, fair, just. It's creating the path, not simply stumbling upon it. I got all verklempt at the poignant scenes, and we were gooey-eyed Schmoopies afterwards feeling free and thankful for each other <3 After the flick, we strolled along enjoying the on and off again sunny-sprinkles, and decided since it was fairly clear, we'd take the Floibanen again. What a great decision! The views were beautiful, the whole bay and boats and old fashioned cityscape can be seen from the top. There are tons of hiking trails with impressive Norwegian woods, the forest floors covered in thick, bright green mosses and huge mushrooms, the trees stretching their leafy arms to the skies and their bark coated thickly with lichen, and tons of troll carvings, totems, and play areas built into the trails for kids to play and dream. I've never seen so many trees with true fairy doors! You know, the little openings at the base of trees that lead into mysterious and tricksy portals into Elsewhere? All the tiny doors had moss and clover and perfect mushrooms growing in them, looking like miniature gardenscapes in a fantasy land :)



















Taking the return journey down the Floibanen was interesting with the entire thing packed with boisterous Italian tourists, we laughed with them all the way down. Wandering back through the now-familiar route to the hotel through the garden gate, having our last meal here at the To Sostre, snuggling together watching our programs over tea, then heading to bed with our books, eager to step over our own threshold again to our wonderful life in Minneapolis. Leaving home and seeing the wide world is a great adventure, and when I was a younger person, it felt stifling to return to a city that seemed ever to shrink knowing there was so much more out there. But now? Now we return knowing there is so much at home to explore, that every walk we take we see new things and share new thoughts together, and that our home is the perfect place to always return, for that is where we make our universe :)

Bergen

Bergen!
Things here in the shoulder season don't open until 11 or 12, so we took a slow morning routine which was actually very nice after these past busy days. I felt like I was conscious all night, having intense lucid dreams that unfortunately I can't recall now, they seemed interesting and important. John's sounding more and more like he's coming down with something, and we're glad we'll be heading home in a couple of days. After brekkies of more smorbrod with brown cheese and salami (I never thought I could miss my boring oatmeal, but I do), we headed out through the former headmaster's garden to hang out down at the Bryggen, which is a stone's throw away from the To Sostre. We took loads of photos (I think we're at around 900 photos or so....digital is frightfully more easy to clip off than silver process film!), shopped a bit in some adorable, touristy shops and then took a cool tour of the Hakon's Hall and the exterior of the Rosenkrantz Tower.





















We stopped for more polse at a little stand, John opted for the reindeer polse and I had regular, which I assume was pork, with a curious pairing of spices of nutmeg and juniper. They were delicious, and we ate them in the rain and I shared little bites of bread with some hungry wrens that twitched about our feet. We then went to the Bryggen's Museum to check out the cool-ass artifacts, trying to decipher as much Norwegian as we could since everything in the museum was in the local tongue, with a few exceptions. I love seeing the old remnants of clothing ancient peoples wore, and they had loads of leather shoes, jewelry, scraps of fabric and the like, and they also had tons of old rune amulets and amulet bags! Loved it!!







We then decided we were ready to head back to the apartment for a rest from the rain, my aching feet and John's increasingly runny nose. After some ironing and a short nap, we brewed more tea and started more ironing. I'm not sure I quite understand the absence of dryers in the Scandinavian household. It's so humid here that nothing is drying, so we've spent the better part of 2-3 hours ironing. There's enough space in there for a matching dryer, and for guests it would be much easier to wash and dry quickly because now we're worried our clothes will still be damp when we have to leave. On top of that was the discovery that my "dot" came several days early. I assumed I may need a few feminine items so I brought a few from home, but not nearly enough to get me through my second/heaviest day, plus a whole day of traveling on Wednesday when we have two freaking layovers, one in Copenhagen and one in DC. I keep reminding myself that traveling on the rag is still less torture than being knocked up, so it's a small price to pay. But still. I can't hide my annoyance at getting it early and now needing to fork out top kroner for disposables :( Sheeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Another trek out to enjoy a rainy walk around Bergen and then for a ride on the Floibanen! The Floibanen is a very, very, very steep train that goes straight up a hillside. It takes 6 minutes to reach the top, making a few stops along the way. I get a wee bit heights-wimpy, so as we came up on the tippy tops of the trees, I had to look away! John took all the pictures on this journey. At the top, you can get off and enjoy a wonderful view of the city, if it's clear. Since it's rainy and foggy, all we could see was whiteness. It almost looked like a whiteout blizzard, that's how thick the fog was! There was a cute troll at the top that looked like he was guarding the gates. There was also a souvenir shop where we got an 50 øre coin (like a penny) with an image of Bryggen smooshed into it by one of those crank machines. We try to get those wherever we go :) The trip down went much easier for me, plus we got distracted by my iPhone crashing every time I tried taking a photo. Then it was back home to make a simple dinner of pasta, pesto, tuna, fresh garlic, salt & pepper and some Solo, a popular orange drink here. We watched a little more FOTC and are now getting into bed to read and crash. Poor John sounds really crappy :( Since it's going to be rainy again tomorrow, we're planning on seeing the new Pixar movie, Brave, and taking it easy. We'll probably have to do some more ironing before we pack up. I can't believe how damp our clothes are still! We maybe should have just paid Unni Marie at the Balestrand Hotel and had her run them. Sigh.











G'night all! We'll be home Wednesday evening to see our kitties!!!!!! <3
Love & hugs, R&J

Balestrand, Vik & We Arrive in Bergen

Balestrand & Vik





Another early morning rise for a brisk express boat ride to the neighboring, sleepy town of Vik to see the Hopperstad Stave Church. The only option for transport (for us) to and from Vik was to take the 7:50am boat and depart on the 11:30am boat, and since the church didn't open until 10:00am, that left us with a gap of time to fill in a town that was still closed for business. Of course, my needs to pee are so belligerent and numerous that even having just used the toalette onboard, the need became more urgent and my panic started to set in. This whole town is situated on hills that surround itself, so no matter what tree I might find, someone in some window was likely to peer out at me pissing on private property and report me to the authorities and I'd be jailed in a foreign country for peeing in public! At least, that's the scenario that was running through my mind. Finally, we found a little shack that looked public enough, based on the graffiti, it must be where the local teens go to make out, so I relieved myself in the brush behind it, having my rump facing the wooden shack and hoping beyond hope that no one happened to be spying out their picture window with binoculars at that moment!! Oy vey....the adventures with my walnut-sized bladder never cease.

















After lots of wandering up and down the paths of Vik, enjoying the romance of a babbling brook and misty mountains surrounding us, we took loads of photos of the outside of the church, and even had a visit from a friendly kitty who rubbed and twisted among our legs. Finally, the church was opened (and descended upon by three busloads of very rude tourists as if they were ants crawling over a piece of tossed aside fruit) and we set our feet in one of the oldest original existing churches of its kind. It was gorgeous, ancient, huge, coated black in pine tar, and had ornate carvings at its entrance, and a very simple interior. There where many ancient symbols for Earth, an equal-armed cross inside a circle, covering the walls of the interior, and all of the Christian symbols seemed out of place, having been added later. Apparently, there are two people buried beneath the floor of the church, one woman and in another area a child who had died of smallpox. As an interpreter was telling us this, several crows or ravens started squawking furiously out in the graveyard, a fitting sign when death is spoken of. There are runes carved into the walls of the exterior of the church, wishes and powers invoked by people calling on assistance of ancient gods. I'm very interested in all manner of symbolism, and I just finished a book on Norse runes, so I was very intrigued by these, and we pondered what the people may have been calling upon when they carved these so long ago in this beautiful and treacherous landscape.











We enjoying a snack at fjord's edge with the sea gulls sailing about, then hopped our express boat (which makes it sound like a small vessel, oh no! This thing is huge, but just spit in a sea compared to some of the ocean liner monstrosities that we've seen) back to Balestrand for a rest and a little coffee and tea. They are having "Market Day" here, which is kind of like an art fair of sorts. There are lots of local artisans showing off their stuff in tents, there were a few musicians playing, kids racing electronic cars, and they even had hands-on cranes and boat lifts for the kids to try. We tried a couple of Thai-style skewered meats, some delicious locally produced apple and currant fruit juice with zero additives, and some tasty free pizza. We enjoyed the scene for a bit until the wind and cold picked up and drove us back to the hotel for some R&R.









An afternoon walk to the Viking burial mounds that are located here turned out to be very relaxing and romantic, despite sitting atop the grave of some fierce plunderer from ages past. There are two giant mounds remaining from what was originally five mounds, one of which was a ship burial. If you get a chance, you should read more about these fascinating burial customs. Unfortunately, because the Vikings believed that they could take their earthly belongings and talents along to the Otherworld, their graves were subject to pilfering. We sat on one of the mounds for a long while talking, laughing, reminiscing, philosophizing, having a wonderful chat together.











We leisurely strolled down the way to visit a small replica of a stave church. It's maroon and gold (SKOL!) and used for summertime church services. It's the kind of structure that John and I would love to make into a house. The high ceilings and lovely carvings on the bench posts and beams on the ceilings were lovely, though not quite so ornate as the carvings of old. It was just as quiet and beautiful as everything else in the sweet little town of Balestrand :)



Leaving Balestrand/Bergen
We slept in a bit on our last day here, then moseyed down for our last delicious breakfast in the common room. We took another mellow stroll to the Viking Mounds to take some photos of the spectacular, overcast fog clinging to the mountain trees. Then we said our goodbyes to Unni Marie, our awesome hostess, and boarded the expressboat heading to Bergen. We assumed we would have to wait until 5:30pm to board the last boat of the day, but as luck would have it, they really don't bother with times, just whether you've paid for the destination ticket, so we were able to catch the 11:30am boat, getting us a much earlier start. The boat ride was amazing. Miles and miles of the Sognefjord whipping by through fog and rain, the waves chopping against the boat, watching little fishing huts and farm houses with herds of sheep grazing on the lush, green grasses.











For days now, both John and I have felt our sea legs on land. We have a perpetual swaying feel, and we'll sometimes walk into walls or lose our balance. I thought this long journey would intensify that since it was so much choppier than the other boat rides, but it hasn't been too bad, though it is definitely still present. I think it may be contributing to John's sinus troubles, which have been fine until yesterday. Hopefully he's not getting a cold :(











After about a three and a half hours, we arrived in Bergen! It is most definitely another city centre, packed with camera-toting tourists. We made our way to the To Sostre Guesthouse, which is super-quaint and very modern. We let Renata finish readying the apartment by visiting the resident white kitty in their communal gardens, then taking a stroll down to a 7-Eleven (which are everywhere here and in Oslo) to pick up a few things to eat. After a lovely chat with Renata, and finding out that her daughter is currently living in Burnsville, MN in a foreign exchange program! We settled in and started our laundry straight away so we could hang it to dry. We had a small dinner of smorbrod (cracker bread with brown geitost cheese and salami) and Ramen noodles that someone had left here. We made it an early night in since we had to monitor the very strange and leaky washer that took us a good 30 minutes to figure out how to use. Seriously, laundry picture icons are not that intuitive! We chillaxed with Cafe Au Lait's and a few episodes of The Flight of the Conchords, then off to bed!